Fear is at the root of many dysfunctions in today’s society. Even the mildest situations can often be perceived or seen as a real threat. In these instances, we experience uncomfortable emotions which, lead us to run, avoid, fight, or resist in some way.
Fear is a destructive force that is accompanied by discomfort or pain. As such, we avoid any and all situations we perceive as potentially painful.
Fear is activated when we anticipate “something” can hurt us. These situations include- doing something wrong, making a mistake, speaking your mind, conflict, confrontation, negative attention, financial failure, endings and beginnings, societal judgment, or something like a new workplace.
Most people use strategies to mitigate and avoid uncomfortable emotions, pain, and discomfort. We want to avoid pain by controlling the environment, the storyline, and the outcomes. Things like long to-do lists, endless planning, manipulating, justifying, denying, ignoring, avoiding, appeasing, and working too much are the ways that can keep us “safe” from any sort of pain.
Control tactics and strategies are conscious or subconscious behaviors. Some are visible and easily spotted. Others are hidden and operate behind the scenes. They can be simple or complex, with their own level of intensity.
When we focus on controlling or avoiding something, we amplify and distort the reality in front of us. We become fear-filled. We become uneasy, distrustful, and suffer emotionally. All the control tactics in the world will not stop fear from creating the inner damage that interferes with your sense of peace.
Those who use strategies to the extreme are skeptics who are living in their head. They fail to see the value of play or connection. They are rigid in their day-to-day plan. They have strong requirements, opinions, and expectations. They focus intensely on what they say, what they do, what they don’t do, what is next, and what is around the corner. They can show up as polished on some level. They often seem vigilant, watchful, careful, protective, apprehensive, manipulative, and distrustful.
These people have allowed fear and the avoidance of pain to direct their lives. They may even shut down their capacity to feel and value emotions – within themselves or in others around them. While this may work for them for a short while, at some point, many of these people will experience a collapse of their reality – accumulated pain that’s manifesting as a physical disease, an emotional breakdown, or mental fatigue.
There’s no room for fear. It’s time to up-level our mindset, manage our emotions, shift perspectives, and step into positive action each day.
Change is the number one reality we fear. Change challenges even the most grounded and sunny person. Why? Change threatens our sense of identity, stability, and safety. Change sets the stage for anticipated discomfort, pain, loss, and trauma.
We hold the power to STOP activating and animating fear. We hold all the power within ourselves -to start, stop, pause, love, hate, resist, or allow. Choose without fear distorting our reality.
Start by asking yourself the following questions-
Can you avoid or stop change?
Can you avoid discomfort and pain?
Can you control life?
The answer is no, no, and no.
Control is a myth.
We control only our response.
We do not control the circumstances.
The simple truth is that –
Life is not under our control. We can take calculated actions.
Life is not about control. We find our way when we allow change.
Life is about living. This means shifting, bending, flexing, and evolving.
Life is active. We cry and laugh. We love. We play.
Life brings endings and beginnings in each day-to-day moment, situation, and relationship. Life guarantees you will change and be challenged. Life includes moments of pain and happiness.
What’s the best solution to eliminating fear?
• The solution is to welcome change.
• The solution is to eliminate fear.
• The solution is courage.
• The solution is love.
Love opens the heart. Love helps eliminate fears with strength, trust, and confidence in your own capacity to move through any challenge.
Love is the way to higher consciousness. Higher consciousness brings awareness, understanding and acceptance. In this way, we welcome change and fear nothing.