Resistance is the precursor for powerful transformation.
Resistance is a pattern of pushing forward or pulling back from something in our life. Where we perceive a situation, person, or belief as wrong, we will choose to reject or avoid it.
Our mental perceptions find every justifications and reason to keep us safe from something that is ‘wrong’. This safety involves accepting distortions, ignoring feelings, or resisting our own truth. Why? Because we are fighting (actively or passively) against facing what feels uncomfortable to us in some way.
__________ The main reasons for resistance include –
We resist because we are stubborn. We resist because we lack understanding. We resist because we want something different. We resist because we worry what others might think.
__________ The alternative reasons for resistance include –
We don’t like charge. We don’t see the bigger picture. We don’t feel safe with an alternate plan.
__________ The bottom line is this –
During resistance, our hearts and minds are not in agreement. We fight within ourselves – grasping the wheel until our knuckles are white and our hands tire.
__________ Our mind justifies because –
Its job is to protect us from perceived (and real) threats.
__________ The truth is that –
We are often afraid of what comes with new thoughts and ideas.
We will not allow what we feel will interfere with our plan.
Resistance is about fear.
Resistance is what we do to “protect ourselves.”
With resistance, we will argue or avoid those situations, people, or ideas that do not feel safe to us. We will reject what presents itself as a challenge to us. When this behavior continues for too long, the challenge grows stronger and more devastating. We can experience stagnation, shock, anger, depression, etc…
__________ Examples of resistance include –
Someone staying in a job or a marriage for a long time despite being miserable and knowing the situation is not good for them. They have a gnawing feeling deep down that this is not the right path. Instead of finding a solution to the fact that they are dying inside, they allow the situation to continue. They may justify that staying is the “logical or better” thing to do even while knowing they are afraid of being alone or judged by others.
A child is struggling with reading. The child might know that they need help because it is hard for them. But they are also afraid- feeling too vulnerable- fearing they might not be good enough or, they will fail. And so, they put up all kinds of resistance around getting help. They refuse to read. They refuse to practice. They throw a fit when you try to sit beside them and help them through it. This child refuses to face their challenge and continues to fight until they choose to face/feel their fear and move through it.
A woman had a tumultuous relationship with her mom. She has avoided all attempts at a reconciliation because she is too angry and unwilling to forgive the past. She distracts herself in many different ways, avoids family gatherings and phone calls. She truly believes herself when she says words like, “I really don’t care.” Deep inside she knows her pain is speaking, not her. One day, she received news that her mom had passed away. Now, she is faced with grief and regret for those lost opportunities to heal her heart.
What if humanity recognized resistance as a precursor for powerful transformations?
What if we understood that resistance was assisting us in some way?
Each experience (good or bad) serves to expand our level of consciousness.
Each situation provides us the opportunity to embody grace versus fear.
Why fight what is? What avoid? Why be afraid? The answer is simple. We do not want to be wrong, say goodbye, apologize, or change our mind. Unless growth is on our terms, we will fight it.
Resistance is an ever-present dynamic that accompanies all personal and professional growth. The choice become one of moving through resistance with intention or, allowing it to keep us back, stuck, and in fear.
If you are noting resistance on your doorstep, ask yourself these question –
What keeps repeating?
What am I afraid of?
What am I resisting?
What am I ready to see?
Stay tuned for my next blog post as I reveal a cleared path to move through resistance.