We engage in conversations with people, listen to national news, and work within teams that can drain us. We engage with a mix of positive and negative thoughts, ideas and people every day. It’s now time for humanity to stop being drained by negativity.
Today, you will learn some tools to help stop the energy drain.
But first, let’s distinguish negative from positive.
Negativity creates disappointment and competition.
Negativity sees me as the winner, and you as the loser.
Negativity includes arrogance, selfishness and blaming others.
Negativity shows up within us and around us.
Negativity lives within judgment.
Negativity makes you wrong.
Negativity feeds shame.
Positivity creates equanimity and fellowship.
Positivity sees each person as a powerful creator.
Positivity includes optimism, empathy and compassion.
Positivity shows up within and around us.
Positivity lives within acceptance.
Positivity makes you happy.
Positivity creates joy.
Most times, you won’t hear another ask permission to share their negativity with you. You will get caught up in conversations and situations with people that are rooted in negativity. It starts as a simple “Hello, how are you?” It continues from there. The person who’s sensitive and caring typically leaves feeling drained and tired.
There are basic to intermediate skills in navigating negativity. The more advanced skills come with your level of energetic awareness and allow you to project love verses absorbing negativity. Concepts and techniques to help you deal with negativity include:
1. DISCERN – Listen, ask and feel before engaging with another person. You will receive one of three answer – an absolute yes, a clear no, or an anxious no. A strong yes or no – has no emotion or thought. It’s a clear answer. An anxious no reveals fear, perception or projections that create resistance within you.
2. BEAM – Once you’ve made a decision, stand by your decision. If this person is someone you must deal with in your life, be careful to stay within your energy field. Avoid “tasting” any part of them during a conversation. This means, you do not go deeper into the vibrations that they hold or try to figure them out in those moments. Instead, stay in your heart, beaming out your beautiful energy. This happens best when we are listening instead of talking. See beautiful energy around that person and, smile. In this way, you engage them with distance even if, you’re sitting right next to them.
3. DEFLECT – This approach is unique. You would take it upon yourself to not engage with the other person’s topic as presented to you. In this case, you stand back, listen at a distance without trying to convince. You do not agree or respond in any way to the topic of choice. You then pivot into some other topic that feels better to you. In this way, you change the stage and dynamic by deflection.
4. AVOID – Simple tactic. Stand back from those who are looking for a fight. They are in the heat of emotions that have them spiraling. This could be someone who is having a hard day – or, it could be someone who sits in this energy all the time, who is a habitual energy sucker. You need to discern here. Most are only interested in sharing their pain with you. They are not looking for help or a solution. They want to off-load or complain because this is their primary way of dealing with life. They want you to join them. You avoid them when you stand back with no eye contact and, learn to keep yourself busy in other ways. This would irritate them and, they would stop coming to you.
5. ADDRESS – State your truth as you see it. Maintain your composure with a soft but, strong stance. You can add some humor or, use some tactical phrases first that give you permission to speak. Try out phrases like: “Do you want to know my thoughts?”; “I hope you’re not offended by my directness but…” or, “It might be upsetting to you but…” Keep these conversations short, sweet and to the point. You are not trying to convince them or anyone else. Speak your truth in neutral tone, without judgement and let it be.
6. ASSERT – Sometimes, the only way to take back our power is by drawing a firm boundary. We must speak! There is a time and place where this confrontation should not be avoided. Situations come our way for a reason. Be aware, stand strong, and assert yourself directly without using put downs or labeling to diminish them. You are simply stating your truth.
I hope you experiment with these concepts to enjoy balance and harmony in your life. It’s time to maximize the joy-factor and stop negativity from impacting you.